Lets talk about poo…

I was diagnosed with Crohns at 18 during my first week at Edinburgh uni, the same week I had an operation to remove part of my bowel (the minging, kinda dead bit!) and was put on azathioprine for two years. I had no clue what this disease even was or how it was going to affect me but I’m still at uni and in my third year studying politics :) I’ve recently just been told by my specialist that I can come off my medication because my crohns is now under control (WOOOOOOOOP!!!!) and its only now that I’m starting to look back at everything that happened and how I feel about it all now. Crohns is a weird one you know? I think its affected me more mentally than it has physically, I mean obviously I’ve had a lot of pain/cramping/endless tiredness etc etc etc!! But I’ve actually developed claustrophobia from it…which is weird (?) I don’t know if this is a common thing to happen or if other people have experienced it too? I HATE buses/undergrounds with an absolute passion but cars/taxis etc seem to be fine (!?) If I have to be on a bus, I need to sit downstairs and I have to be sitting down and even after all that I sometimes can only there for one/two stops! I think I over think my disease a lot too. I don’t feel comfortable eating if I know I have to be somewhere within the next couple of hours or if I have to be in a lecture for an hour then I wont eat a couple of hours before that and then almost collapse from hunger before diving into the nearest food place possible to gorge on whatever savoury food they have!! (panini’s seem to like me best, especially the Starbucks chicken ones!) I LOVE travelling and I went to Barcelona with my boyfriend for a week in the summer, which was the first time I’d been away anywhere since I got diagnosed. Yes it was shit scary (especially on the tour bus!) because I didn’t always know where the nearest bathroom was and the youth hostel we stayed in only had two toilets for all the women who were staying there AND it was bloody hot (which seems to make me need the toilet more….does this happen to anyone else?!) but I managed and I have to say HELLS YEAH IM PROUD! I mean yes there was one rather embarrassing accident in the middle of a street at nighttime and we had to get the underground home before I could do anything about it but you know what made it a whole lot better? The fact that my boyfriend stood behind me the whole time hugging me and laughing about and not caring at all that his 20 year old girlfriend had just shit herself! Which made it seem funny to me and now I joke about “popping to the loo for 20 mins” or “nope can’t eat that otherwise I’ll be shitting through the eye of a needle!” I guess what I’m trying to put across here is that Crohns is not a well known disease and the only way more people are going to know about it is if the people who actually have it have the courage to speak up and say “mmkay so I have this thing where my body hates food and I shit out my body weight everyday, but you know what I still have ambition, I still do the things that I want to do, I have bad days but I still have a LIFE and if you think its disgusting well then so’s your FACE!” Everyone should know about this disease so you know what, TELL THE WORLD ABOUT YOUR POO!!

  1. the-youth-quake posted this